A Little Dose of Napoleon Will Cure Any Thursday

There are some days you just need some Napoleon. I get a little bit every day, thanks to a handy desk calendar. I thought I should share some favorites:

There’s a lot more where this came from if you go to the dance with me. –Yours Truly, Napoleon Dynamite

So, uh, how does the dealio sound to you? –Uncle Rico

Do you think I got where I am today because I dress like Peter Pan here? –Rex

You know, like numchuck skills, bow-hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. –Napoleon

Pedro: Like, what are my skills?
Napoleon: Well, you have a sweet bike…and you’re really good at hookin’ up with chicks. Plus you’re, like, the only guy at school who has a mustache.
Pedro: That’s true.

Uncle Rico: You ever come across anything like time travel?
Kip: Easy. I’ve already looked into it for myself.
Uncle Rico: Right on. Right on.

Pedro: If I win, you can be my secretary or something.
Napoleon: Sweet! Plus I could be your bodyguard, too. Or, like, Secret Service captain or…whatever.

She says she doesn’t want you here when she gets back because you’ve been ruining everybody’s lives and eatin’ all our steak! –Napoleon

Napoleon: How long did it take you to grow that mustache?
Pedro: A couple of days.
Napoleon: I wish I could grow one. Are you gonna eat your tots?

Grandma: How was school?
Napoleon: The worst day of my life. What do you think?