A Rough Monday

Today was a rough day for Leslie. I decided to stay home with her because she was so weak and I didn't want her to drive herself to radiation. She's had trouble eating or drinking anything. At her appointment, the oncologist prescribed a stronger medication (stronger than Immodium) that we hope will provide some relief for her. She has been able to eat a few things today.

I feel like the screws are another notch tighter on us during this stage. It's caused me to think a lot about my cousin, Wayne, who many years ago went through cancer with his wife, Mary. I've always grieved for Wayne because he lost his wife to the battle. But I never gave much consideration to what he must have gone through in the months beforehand. They had four young girls at the time. I'm only getting a taste of what it is like to carry the load, and I'm not trying to complain. But I find my fuse getting shorter and shorter. Tonight I had to sit down and apologize to McGrooter for the way I treated him this morning. He's only six, and yet he's had to bear the brunt of my frustration and lack of patience. I'm harder on him, I guess because he's the oldest and because he's a boy. But as he said to me tonight as I talked with him, "We never get to go outside and throw the football." And he prayed the night before, "Help Daddy's back to get better so we can wrestle." It only adds to the weight to think of what I am doing, and not doing, to him and for him. Staying home today helped me renew my perspective and thank God for protecting us through this process.

Tonight, everyone is upstairs sleeping and I am wrapping up my day's work. I keep thinking of Wayne, my new hero. He made it through the journey and has seen his girls become women. It's good to have examples before us who we can remember. Wayne will be the first to tell you where his strength came from during that time. I know that God carried him through, and He will likewise do so for us. Please continue to pray for Leslie's comfort and for all of us, that our strenght would be renewed.