Doing What I Can

Last night, Friday, Leslie began to feel better. I thought she was coming out of the woods after her first chemo treatment. However, today she has gone back down hill. The cycle of taking meds for the variety of symptoms is wreaking havoc on her body. She continues to eat very little, and remains in a lot of pain.

I'm learning to do what I can, and try to be content with that. It seems that with the beginning of each day there are so many things to be done, but there is never enough time to get it all done. It isn't much different than what most moms must do, I guess. I'm just not that good at multi-tasking, unless it's on a computer. I did manage to meet most of my goals for the day, though. I got the trash hauled off, the kitchen cleaned up (now it needs it again, of course), the laundry started, and made a few trips to the store. I wasn't able to carry on our weekly tradition of a pancake breakfast, so I fixed pancakes for dinner. The kids always love that!

But by the time bedtime rolled around, I was frazzled. I needed to get the kids down, and get all the trash rounded up and to the dump before 9. I also had to get to Best Buy by then to replace my router which died today. It was a little thing, but I wanted to get it back up and running so that Leslie could use her computer and I could also work upstairs. As the clock ticked, my patience diminished. I hate that. I wish I could finish strong each day, without "losing it." But I so often fail.

Leslie has been a caretaker to me in this matter, speaking softly and showing a lot of understanding. I don't mean to come across as a nutcase, but I'm sure I sound like I'm constantly at the end of my rope. I really have a lot to be thankful for. The kids have been real troopers, and Leslie waits with great patience. I'm constantly forgetting what I was doing, but she reminds me, with great care.

In the midst of all of this, I see Christ's adequacy in my constant inadequacy. He holds our family together, and I know is at work for His glory. I just pray that my children will not be scarred by my shortcomings (okay, I know they will some), but will have a big view of God and will learn to trust Him even at their young ages.